Bloggrrs

i live a life where i’m afraid of not having a clean, safe place to live in. but sometimes i wish i could just live in a shack or a tree house. i’d find ways to survive. i’d find a tarp when it rains. i’d ride my bike to get places and buy a big basket for it to carry the things i need. i’d take my dog with me and knit him an ugly sweater so he stayed warm even though i hate it when people dress their dogs. he’d freeze otherwise. but i don’t even know how to knit anything other than blankets and scarves so i’d have to just make a big scarf and wrap it around him and tie it closed. i could learn to knit sweaters for myself and wear lots of layers and ripped jeans. i’d make fingerless gloves and a hat and i wouldn’t match. then again, it’s just now starting to get warm.

i’m not too sure where i’d shower.

and i think i’d have to work a minimum wage job so that it would be okay to look sort of homeless at work.

i wish i didn’t have so much CRAP. i used to be so sentimental and i kept so much stuff that i didn’t need, but that’s slowly changing and i’m slowly throwing things away that i don’t need.

i should have done this in college. now i need suits and stylish clothing for work. i need purses and shoes to match. i need to look good so that i’ll stay employed. i should sell things or give them away. sell everything i don’t need and give away what i can’t sell other than what i need to seem “normal” at work. i don’t need 15 purses. i really only need one. i don’t need 7 water bottles.. i should just re-use one. i don’t need 2 ipods, 2 laptops, 40 lip balms, and 50 thousand pens. i don’t need 20 pairs of pjs. in fact, i don’t need pjs at all. plenty of people sleep in their clothes. i could sleep in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

i want to stop buying food and eat everything in my pantry until it’s gone. then i want to start fresh and just buy what i need for the week. don’t the french do that daily? i want to know what it’s like to worry about not having food. i want to see what it’s like to not have a disposable income. i want to worry about feeding my dog and forgo buying superflous things i don’t need in order to do so.

i feel like things might be so much more simple in a world like that. and i don’t mean that poor people have simple lives. i just mean that maybe, if i spent money like i was only earning minimum wage i would learn to appreciate the things i take for granted. i need to put my credit card in a locked box and only use cash. i’ll give myself a set income for a week and see how far i can stretch it. then maybe i can learn to live without the things i really don’t need.